"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who WAIT for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
Stefan and I met this beautiful eagle at the zoo in Houston, TX recently and were stunned by her silent beauty. While she'll not be taking to the skies anytime in the near future her beauty got me thinking about Isaiah. As Stefan and I stared at her, I couldn't help but think of her intricate design which allows her in "normal" circumstances to soar. This eagle is in Houston because she is wounded and can no longer life alone but rather has become completely dependent upon the "community" around her to care for and protect her.
Isaiah paints a beautiful picture for us here....
He reminds us of purpose in a season of waiting through which God infuses strength, energy and determination.
The word WAIT isn't a word we generally enjoy - at least I don't. And yet I can look back in my own life and see where God has used such seasons to put on display His own character while at the same time infusing me with the strength needed to survive the season.
Here's the thing:
We are in one of those seasons and while I'd like to confess that I am trusting God, relying on His strength and wisdom or even waiting patiently - that would be a lie! I've thrown some good fits before the throne of God lately and have really wondered what is going on!
Many of you know that we took some time to rest this past summer! It was GOOD! Stefan was able to spend the summer - May - August at my parents house, resting, relaxing, re-connecting with family and just enjoying life. I joined him in July for a month and while we spent much of that month getting caught up on homeschool we also began a season of reconnection as a family! And at the same time we were entering the great unknown. After twelve years of ministry, community and life with Casa Bernabe, God was clearly calling us out but He wasn't giving many details about where He was calling us to! And thus began our Abrahamic journey!
Arriving back here in Guatemala was a totally new experience. We were not bound for CB to be greeted by the 150 children that we love so very much but instead were heading toward a small little cottage, alone. I'm gonna lie, we cried ourselves to sleep wondering just what God was doing. I wish I could say that things got easier but they didn't!
- Several weeks after arriving we took a trip to Chichicastenango in order to train some dear friends in sexual abuse prevention. During that weekend, actually as I was packing up, Stefan took a "great fall" and ended up with 30 stitches and a few fractures in his right arm which would need surgery.
- A week after Stefan's surgery we ventured out and went to the movies. It was dark and raining as we made the u-turn to enter our little community and we were struck by a drunk driver! (my first thought was - SERIOUSLY?)
- About two weeks after that poisonous spiders took up residence with us in our home and our roof began to leak - like we had a cool little waterfall happening in our kitchen!
- Two months after arriving back in Guatemala we moved out of our little cottage and into a house.
- During the moving process our truck was hit and our dog was attacked!
Seriously! So what is this all about? It'd be nice if I could end this entry with some amazing good news. But the thing is I can't - not in physical at least. What I can say is that even though I've thrown my fits and begged God for a glimpse of what is going on, even though I've experienced doubt, fear and struggle - there is one thing that remains constant - - my faithful Abba Father. He's not given answers but He's encouraged and filled our home with peace and joy. He's not shared the blueprints for our ministry/life here in Guatemala but He's directing our steps one day at a time.
The amazing thing is that while our experiences over the past 3 months have been challenging, the words that God has spoken over us and ministered to us are words, concepts ONLY He would know we need to learn RIGHT NOW. Don't worry I'm not going to share them all but this one sticks out above the rest:
God is working beauty and strength out of my deep brokenness and real weakness. In my weakness His character has the most potential of shining through.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." II Cor. 12:9
So maybe what I have experienced is GRACE....truck loads of grace in the last three months and I guess my hope is that in my weakness, despite my doubt, my fear, my fleshly desire to NOT SUFFER, despite ALL of that weakness - my hope is that God's power be MADE PERFECT in my weakness.
"...He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength."
that is my hope and prayer for you too, dear friend.