August 31, 2010

August is my birth month.....and this year God blessed me in ways I could not have imagined or even thought to ask! I've done alot of pondering this month, a ton of wrestling and on this last night of August find myself rejoicing. Rejoicing because Stefan and I serve such an AMAZING God who is to us, Father, Husband, Comforter, Provider and Protector! Rejoicing because in the midst of sorrow, there is joy, in the midst of challenges there are solutions, in the midst of failure there is GRACE......

Open Doors

 

"The words of the holy one, the true one, who has the key of David, who opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens." Revelations 3:7

 

The days and weeks seem to run together and more and more I feel like my head is spinning as our lives move at this fast pace. But last week as I sat down with my "to do" list I was overwhelmed by the amount of large projects and I just began to pray…Lord, not my will but yours be done in each of these projects. There was a VBS happening at my home church, Snow Hill Baptist Church in Tuttle, Oklahoma and they had chosen to highlight the work at Casa Bernabe and specifically our baby house. This meant sending pictures, videos and the like…however our internet decided not to cooperate making an easy task a long and frustrating one. There was this HUGE project with Brigada 40….that of organizing a mission trip to build houses for widows! Great project but honestly my faith was dwindling in the area of finances…There was the issue of this Sexual Abuse Prevention seminar that I am to facilitate in August but the material arrived late to team in MO and thus did not make it here. In each area I began to pray…Lord, open and close doors….

Tonight I am STUNNED!

We serve an AMAZING GOD who hears our prayers and orchestrates events that we couldn't even dream up to accomplish HIS purpose.

• The VBS at Snow Hill was AMAZING from what I hear! Brandi S. caught the vision for the baby house and did an incredible job of empowering our family in the Tri-City area to impact the beautiful babies that Casa Bernabe serves. We thought it would be nice to have a rubber floor for the baby house as our tile can be so unforgiving and through the faithfulness of children, our baby house will be REMODELED, including a rubber floor! THANK YOU SNOW HILL!!!! Oh, and the internet finally allowed us to upload….if you haven't seen the videos….please check them out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IzN_iyddzg or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA_OA-ATJFY
  
• Our widow building project has developed and grown so much over the past week. God confirmed that we have the finances to build 3 houses! This is AMAZING! The youth at Snow Hill have worked super hard and the community of faith there has been super supportive! They have raised enough money to provide a home to a widow in need!!!! And our team here will GET to build it and share Jesus in such a practical way! Living Stones confirmed that they will join us for the trip and will provide the financing for 2 houses! Our kids are super stoked about raising funds here…car washes, bracelet sales and the like will allow them to play an active role in this project! Dates have been set and the door before us is OPEN!!!!
  
• About a month ago I was invited to share my heart in the area of sexual abuse prevention at a meeting where orphanages from around the country would be represented. I was so excited although a bit nervous. The idea for a seminar was received enthusiastically and a date was set, however the material never made it down…frustrating! BUT God made a way and just today I received ALL the material in my office to be able to offer this valuable training to 10 different ministries. SO EXCITING!
  

I am so amazing at the way that God provides for us! His timing is perfect and His provision beyond what I could ask or imagine!

 

 

 

 

More on a mama's heart and surrender...

So this month has brought so many amazing opportunities with the girls on our campus! It's so fun to experience God move and change my heart with time! The first time that I experienced Casa Bernabe, God totally wrecked me but He did so through the sweet smiles and heart-wrenching cries of the three, four and five year olds on campus. Ministry looks so different this time around and part of the blessing of being a part of the youth here is that the youth now ARE those exact three, four and five year olds.

So one of the most enjoyable things I did this month was plan a retreat for our "Quince" group. It was SO much FUN!!! We are so thankful for the way that God has empowered Living Stones in Reno, NV to come alongside this group of young people to help prepare them for their futures.

The retreat has been an idea that has occupied our minds much of late and at the heart of it, the desire to address such issues as higiene, pure relationships and of course sex...the good, the bad and the ugly. We were so blessed by the way that God provided and pulled every detail together. The hotel that we stayed in offered bungalows with kichens which allowed for Quince to plan their meals and then we all went shopping together. It was great for the kids to come face to face with the reality of what it really takes, financially, to feed that many of them. They had a budget and the girls had to put things back due to lack of funds which was a really amazing experience. They talked through it...made decisions but in the end still ate like queens!

The sessions were informal which made for a family like environment and the girls responded so well! Throughout the two days I was able to connect with girls that I've really not known before and I was able to really build up relationships with others. Sometimes we experience things in life and we ask..."How could this happen? How could God possibly use this for His glory?" I've asked these questions alot in my life and honestly each time I think there is no way, God shows up in a big way, turns the challenges into something usuable in His Kingdom and gets the GLORY! I truly feel like that is what happened during our two days together. Every adult present was able to speak into these lives in such pivotal ways.

I've had some revelations this month that ONLY a LOVING Father could give. For the past five years I've begged the Lord for a house full of boys and the ability to stay at home and minister to and raise up God-fearing men. Well, I have two full time jobs, try to manage Stefan's homeschool and so the term "stay at home mom"....pretty much not a reality! However as I mentioned in my last post God recently opened a door for me to become a foster parent. While I totally believe that this is an opportunity that God has given, I have also felt Him gently nudging my heart, gently asking me what it is that I truly desire to do. Is it to be that stay at home mom....which would take a miracle by the way.....
OR
Is it to be a social worker, a youth worker, a disciple maker????? It is not that both aren't possible but reality is that it's really challenging to do it all and do it well. So tonight I lay my mama's heart, my need for reorgainization and my desire to serve King Jesus at HIS feet in surrender....
Lord have your way...not my will but yours be done!

Update on life.....

This blog background seemed perfect....even now as I type the raining is falling steadily on my roof....as the coffee brews and my two little ones snooze, I finally have a minute to reflect....to think back and the last few weeks.

It's been a over a year since Stefan and I answered God's invitation to join HIM here at Casa Bernabe and it's been an amazing journey to say the least. Each day is a new adventure that causes me to have to step out of my comfort zone, ruthlessly trust HIS sovereign hand and relinquish the control I so tightly hold onto!

About two months ago I was encouraged by a dear friend to consider what ruthless surrender looks like, to consider what letting go really would entail. Now, let me share that this has been a painful journey! One that is still evolving and that takes a new and different shape everyday! Honestly I felt that I was "surrendered" in every sense of the word....I mean really! So the first stop on this journey: PRIDE!
In researching surrender and trying to grapple with the concept that I was not surrendered I came upon a devotional that convicted me beyond words.

"Let God shine His holy light on the dark corners of you that you've never let Him touch. And tear up that contract you want God to sign; the one with all the ways you've wanted things to be. Give Him a blank piece of paper, pre-signed by you to do whatever He writes on it. You're at the end of your power and at the beginning of His. Surrendering is the way to winning, and powerlessness is the most powerful position in the world."

I was stunned as I read these words. A vision came into my mind of me standing before the throne with my contract, jumping up and down like a crazy woman...."just, please LORD sign it..." The Lord lead me to then cut out a heart and list upon it all my desires....all the things I was attempting to control.....all the beautiful plans I'd made for myself. And then I took out a plain piece of white paper and I signed it.....
I truly desire GOD to pen this story!

Fast forward a month or so and I am now mama to not one but two sweet boys! Not something that I had written into the pages of my story for 2010! Yet God in HIS mercy chose our family to be a refuge to a child in need! It's been a hard adjustment...much harder than I expected but God is doing an amazing work in our family! He's doing a work in our hearts, sealing His plan upon us and encouraging us to trust him ruthlessly!

It's been hard to balance my role as mama and my responsibilities here at Casa Bernabe. Hard to be what I need to be in all areas....tonight I feel broken! God has opened my eyes in the past days to the struggle that these little ones are truly faced with, he's broken my heart for our care givers who are raising not two but 16 or 18 little four year olds. Rejection, abandonment, FEAR and developmental delays make life so challenging! I can't see the future...have no idea what the Father is going to write but I know for today He's given me two sweet boys and I'm so grateful for the peace we feel in our home tonight!

Brigada 40

SO EXCITING!!!! A missionary and member of our youth leadership team made this video recently! 2010 has been such an exciting year in relation to our youth on campus and the vision that God has given us for them! It's been so awesome to watch them grow together, learn together and serve together....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA_OA-ATJFY

BRIGADA 40 Service Project

(Widow House built near Chichicastenango)

Since the moment we were asked to led the youth of Casa Bernabe, we've had a passion to see a new generation rise up among the young people we serve. A generation committed to recognize needs within the community and compassionately extend their hands to make a difference.  It's not difficult to see that the community at large is deeply in need. With the erruption of the Pacaya Volcano, Tropical Storm Agatha and other natural disasters the need in Guatemala is both profound and urgent.

BRIGADA 40 was privileged to serve Chimaltenango a few months ago through the sharing of beans, rice and the GOSPEL. It was a truly impacting experience for our youth group and we are anxious to again be able to give out of what the LORD has so graciously provided us!

We'd like to ask for your prayers as we prepare to journey to Chichicastenango with a group of 12 youth to build houses for widows in that area. The picture above is of a home we recently visited. Our hope is to be able to build 4 houses just like this one over the span of 3 days. We are so excited to have Living Stones from Reno, NV joining us on this project and have just been amazed by God's provision!

Our 12 youth will be working over the next 3 months in order to contribute to the project. As we prepare to invest in these 12 youth and build houses for 4 different families we ask that you would stand with us in prayer. Please pray that God would hand pick the families we are to bless, that we would be wise in our planning and that God would open doors for us to invest in these youth.

THANK YOU for your love, prayers and willingness to journey with us! BLESSINGS!!!!

II Peter 1:5-8

"For this ver reason, make every effort to ad to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge; and to knowledge self-control; and to self-control, perservance; and to perservance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness and to brotherly kindness, love. For IF you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they willkeep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our LORD Jesus Christ."

God is GOOD and His continued presence in our lives continually amazes me! I find myself more and more grateful for the way that GOD shelters our community, for the way He provides for us through HIS beautiful people, for the way He brings JOY through the giggles and pitter-patter of little feet! I am GRATEFUL!

This passage of scripture has been our focus this year in Brigada (youth group) and each time I read it I am challenged. Challenged to make effort in my faith, challenged to not grow weary in doing good, challenged to pursue knowledge as as for a hidden treasure, to call my thoughts and actions into obedience thus expressing self-control....I am challenged to be KIND...to truly LOVE my brothers.....I am convicted and empowered to journey on striving for all these...

"Then I looked up-and there before me was a man with a measuring line in his hand! I asked, 'Where are you going?'

He answered to me, "To measure Jerusalem, to find out how wide and how long it is." Then the angel who was speaking to me left, and another angel came to meet him and said to him:

RUN, tell that young man, 'Jerusalem will be a city without walls because of the great number of men and livestock in it. And I myself will be a WALL of FIRE around it,' declares the LORD, 'and I will be it's glory within.'" Zechariah 2:1-5

As I think of the events of the past weeks around our world and specifically here in Guatemala I am reminded of this BEAUTIFUL passage of scripture. Here at Casa Bernabe we have experienced the presence of the LORD expressed so mightily in HIS WALL of FIRE around us, sheltering us and protecting us time and time again! With the earthquake, volcano and tropical storm there was great potential for an affect an our lives and the life of our minsitry BUT GOD in HIS mercy has so sheltered us!

We covet your prayers for the community that surrounds us and for the nation we serve!