Discovering Pearls

Why?

2011-06-05T16:36:00.000-07:00

"O Lord, you know; remember me and visit me, and take vengeance for me on my persecutors. In your forbearance take me not away; know that for your sake I bear reproach.
Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts.
I did not sit in the company of revelers, nor did I rejoice; I sat alone, because your hand was upon me, for you had filled me with indignation.
Why is my pain unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?" (Jeremiah 15:15-18)

This week was long and challenging. When God first began communicating with my heart as I washed pots in the pila back in 2000, I could never have imagined the journey ahead. I was doing the best I could to prepare myself to be a missionary but looking back I now struggle with whether or not I truly knew what the word "missionary" meant. More was it a romantic idea of rescuing orphans and sharing the love of Christ with them and less was it truly understanding that to "rescue" would require a real and profound amount of suffering. I felt specifically called to broken children but had no real understanding of where God would take me in that "calling."

It is not so much the physical concept in traveling from one place to another but rather the emotional, mental and spiritual implication of moving deeper and deeper into human suffering. Almost two years ago I began the process of getting to know 160 children and their "stories." I sat for days surrounded by piles of "stories" as I tried to gain a firm grasp on why each one was sent to be protected and provided for on our mountainside. I remember feeling so overwhelmed trying to remember who was a part of a sibling group, in which house each resided and then there was the memorizing of their names....all four names. (never mind their birthdays - which I have yet to get right!) In those days I wept as I read "story after story" and was stunned by the horrible things each one had suffered but I can honestly say that I did not suffer. The suffering has come as I've gotten to know each child, their dreams, hopes and heartache.

The suffering has caused more questions than my mind can wrap itself around. Why the suffering of the innocent? Why the long road to recovery and restoration when such crimes could have been prevented? WHY?

Tonight my heart is broken for so many children and youth in our care who find themselves in dark places. My heart longs for HOPE for them, for a cure for their pain and an end to their suffering.

Sometimes it's not enough to bandage wounds....
"Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed;
Save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.
Behold they say to me,
Where is the WORD of the Lord? Let it come!"

What is this place that God has called me to? It is not Casa Bernabe or even Guatemala but it is suffering with those who suffer, weeping with those who grieve and it will one day mean dancing with those who dance. This suffering does not mean that I need to walk around in sackcloth but sometimes I wish I could just stay in and process before facing the next set of circumstances. So this season is challenging me to face the "whatever" and truly be a reflection of Christ. My response to suffering should be different than that of one who has not yet found hope in Christ. Our response to suffering as the body of Christ should be different!

More to come in Part II...

Cultivating beauty....

2011-05-16T17:48:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was so beautiful for our family! God provided rest, sweet fellowship and amazing moments of worship!

As I sat on my porch Sunday I was amazed by the beauty around us! Sometimes I take it so for granted but it really is something, not only the mountains but the sounds of sweet little voices and the pitter patter of little feet! As I sat in my favorite chair I noticed a new vine that is growing in several of my flower pots. About two years ago I bought this beautiful vine that was killed shortly thereafter by a cold spell. After trying to revive it I threw the plant out and started a fresh with different dirt and new flowers. Over a year later the vine has reappeared and it's BEAUTIFUL!

God is using that vine as a reminder that our work here may be long and may show no signs of progress but under the surface something is happening, roots are growing and in due time a healthy plant will emerge. This word is BEAUTIFUL and has been such an encouragement to my heart!

This week will be busy! I just received our weekly planning memo and there is so much going on! Please pray for us as we continue to invest in the lives of these truly amazing children!

April 2, 2011

2011-04-12T10:16:00.001-07:00

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3

“You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in a bottle. Are they not in your book?” Psalm 56:8

Our mountainside has not moved, we are all still here but there is a sense of extreme suffering from the smallest to the greatest here on our campus. It seems like the past six months have left of spinning and as a result grasping for a sense of stability and hope. As I read these verses this morning they fell as a sweet rain on my troubled heart! God is not unaware and He is truly the ONE who sees!

He sees the rejection, the abandonment and the sorrow. He sees the fear, the insecurity and the lack of confidence. He sees....

Last night during our nucleo I was so overcome by the Spirit of God to just speak bluntly and truthfully about LIFE and DEATH. I had driven up from the city moments before we began and just 3 kilometers before our house we came up on a terrible accident. I do not know how it happened but it was a gruesome sight. And in the moment I was acutely aware that there would be no medical helicopters for a rescue, no jaws of life....no those inside the cars would have to rely on the dozens of men who were surrounding their cars attempting to lift them off of one another. Then they would have to wait for the ambulances to take them to a national hospital, ill equipped for such trauma cases. As these thoughts rapidly flashed through my mind I could feel the Holy Spirit inside me saying, “I am the solution. I AM LIFE.” As I began praying out loud, I felt the Spirit of God so strongly in my being...I felt LIFE. God has used that accident as physical reminder to me of my tendency to seek solutions in all kinds of different places. But reality is that even the best equipped trauma center is ill equipped for the state of our messed up hearts. There is only one who can breath LIFE eternal into us and it is to HIM that we should RUN! I shared this experience with the girls and an excitement filled the room. The girls grabbed their Bibles and began to share the Words that God has spoken to them over the past month. As they read I couldn’t prevent the HUGE smile on my face, GOD is MOVING in the midst of such great sorrow and suffering. In school the girls are reading biographies of Great Christians and they’ve been stunned to say the least by these men and women and even more by their faith. One girl confessed, “I hate to read, I don’t read my Bible but I had to read this book. After reading it I can’t help but pick up my Bible and look for what these men and women found.” Please continue to pray that God speak clearly to our youth, that they encounter HIM and their hearts be forever drawn.

This year has drawn me out of my comfort zone and into the unknown. Each day I encounter situations that I am not capable of handling on my own and am thus forced to rely on the Spirit of God. From driving challenges (may sound funny but Guatemala City can seriously test your patience and will to survive), to speaking in court hearings, to finding creative ways to love our children, I’ve felt challenged!

In the middle of one such challenging day I walked by the huge window in my office and saw BEAUTY and a bit of comedy! The toddlers where out on the swings playing and one of the littlest boys stole a toy from his buddy and a chase ensued. The littlest one ran with his head tilted, laughing hysterically and just about the time he realized that he had out-smarted and out-run his buddy his pants fell down around his ankles. I’ve never seen this little one laugh so hard and boy did I need the good laugh. At that point all bets were off, all anger subsided on the part of the buddy and they just sat and laughed together. Friends again...

This week I had a serious battle with fear. My greatest fear is that for all our GREAT programs and our wonderful staff and our Christ centered environment that we will not reach these kids, that they will grow up and walk away without a true, intimate relationship with the Living God. My fear is that in attempting to raise 169 kids that we miss so many little details that we actually turn kids from God because our relationships give a perspective of a distant and busy God. Please pray that God would open my eyes to opportunities to just listen to our children, that He would open my ears to truly understand what they are saying and that He would fill my mouth giving me words to express His heart for them.

I have also experienced a deep fear in regard to those making laws for the littlest in our country. I can be passionate and quick to judge....also quick to speak up in “inopportune” moments and so in really evaluating each circumstance we find ourselves in where new laws and government entities are involved I’ve become fearful to say the least. I’m learning the law....something that is new for me and praying like crazy that God steady my thoughts and that He sort through them for me, closing my mouth when it’s best to be silent and opening it with passion when it’s best to make noise.

BRIGADA is my passion! I love our youth, the opportunity to truly walk with these 45 kiddos through life and the chance to lead them to Jesus. This year our leadership team has provided more challenges than I was honestly ready for! At the beginning of the year I read a great book about shepherding and really gained a new appreciation for the art. I also gained what I felt was a passion for applying such principles in ministry but must admit that it’s not at all gone as I expected. This fact has brought much sorrow and confusion to me as a leader. I must confess that I feel like I know less about leading today than I knew five years ago, three years ago or even three days ago! Please pray for our team as we plan a retreat/service project for our youth. We plan to take our kids to work with a sister ministry, blessing their community as well as those who live in and around the dump. Please pray as we prepare creative and encouraging moments to share with our youth. Pray that their hearts would be tilled and that the WORD of God would fall on good soil.

A short look back at 2000....

When God first led me to Casa Bernabe, I can remember feeling so led to be a part of the lives of these kids over a long period of time. I didn’t feel called to just come and bless and leave but rather to plant my life here, to grow with the kids, to walk through valleys and mountain tops with them.

One of the first girls that I met was Nora. She was bright, genuine and compassionate. And through the years our friendship remained constant. Of all of the children that I prayed for daily she was a priority for me....I can’t tell you how many times that the Lord would wake me up to pray and intercede for her. This week she came to my office, a bundle of tears. For years Nora has dreamed of going to medical school but this past year she really focused on earning a scholarship to study at a medical school in Cuba. She applied and we all waited....until this week! AND the answer was YES! Nora got the scholarship and she is in CUBA! But before she left we had the chance to sit down and just cry together. This girl has gone from being on of our kids to being a friend, an inspiration and even an instrument of growth. Her story is so impacting and words cannot express how proud I am of her! As we wept together I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude well up in me that God allowed for me to see her to her high school graduation and now off to medical school! GOD IS GOOD!

Nora has fallen in love with her Savior and He’s sent her out as a remnant. BEAUTIFUL!

Thank you for being a part of this incredible thing that God is doing here on our mountainside. We wouldn’t want to be anywhere else! And we couldn’t be here without you. Your faithful support each month allows us to do what we do, to come alongside our children and walk with them into the arms of a loving and gracious - ever so close God.

Totally His,

Tonilynn and Stefan Steere

the market....

2011-02-04T23:46:00.000-08:00

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE strolling through the market! The colors are so brilliant and the people so interesting! I can't help but wonder what each of their stories are....
The other day as we were walking with friends through the market looking for a hat for Stefan a woman approached us. At first I wasn't really paying attention but when she pulled her little boy's shirt up I was stunned and my attention diverted from our shopping experience to the plight of this child. I have no idea what his medical condition was but I imagine it had something to do with his colon. The open wound on his belly was huge, the patch covering it dirty and the family obviously in desperate need.
My mind has gone back to that little boy so many times! My heart is overwhelmed by the extreme need in this country. There is truly a deep spiritual and emotional brokenness and it is most evident in the children of this beautiful country.

As I listened to the director of another local ministry today I recalled this experience yet again. There are three types of people, he said. The first would simply ignore this woman and her child, never noticing the wound....the second would notice it and in disgust would move as far away from the situation as humanly possible and the third type of person would step back, take in the situation and ask, "what can I do to help?" In this environment it would be easy to become numb to the intense need, it would be easy to become blind, emotionally and spiritually to the broken and weary to our right and our left and it would certainly be easier to simply plead ignorance to the plight of our world, our families and our children. Harder is it to stand up and extend a hand of compassion, a creative solution or simply a shoulder to cry on.

This week as I plowed through my "to-do list" I realized my own tendancy to become so focused on the task at hand that I miss the world around. me. I miss the beauty of the market because I'm thinking about that store on the corner that may or may not have Dr. Pepper today. I miss the opportunity to laugh with a crew of girls on the soccer field because I'm walking toward one specific child with one specific word to share. I miss the joy in my own little boy's smile because I'm too busy folding laundry, making dinner and grading papers......

This week God has challenged me to do a seriously self-evaluation. I believe He's charged me with two specific tasks....
First, He's challenged me to take an honest look at those things that fill my heart and determine whether those things are taking up space that belongs to King Jesus.
Second, He's challenged me to stop and ENJOY! (I'm not sure that this is a new lesson....so I'm praying that it take root and produce real/lasting change in the way our family functions!)

Our lives here are busy....but they don't have to be consumed by our "to-do lists!" In fact they should be at all consumed by tasks but rather our lives should be consumed by a Holy, Jealous GOD!
More to come on this topic....

GRACE....

2011-01-17T19:03:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been astonished by the GRACE that God so abundantly showers on and over my life. I see his hand of protection as I drive, I experience His PRESENCE in ministry and I also recognize HIS hand of discipline as I continue to journey on!

This week as I thought I'd loose my mind between my work in the office, ministry and Stefan's homeschool, I ran into some sweet ladies who quickly jumped to help! In a moment they became Stefan's own personal cheerleading team.....encouraging him through his tough material, making him laugh and helping him to not feel so alone in this battle! THANK YOU LADIES! Stefan said, "mom, seriously I think I thanked them a million times!" Here at CB we go through crazy busy seasons and it's such a challenge to balance life! We are grateful to serve a GOD who is so WITH US and who comes to our aid when we cry out!

GRACE defines my story and gives it meaning....direction!
"It reminds me that my life need not be imprisoned by my own rebellion, defeated by my own foolishness, or paralyzed by my own inability. God's grace is most powerful and effective at the moment of my greatest weakness."

Pondering GRACE, grateful for MERCY and just so glad that Jesus loves me! So grateful that Jesus LOVES us and allows us to journey together.....

Sounds of laughter and freedom to breath!

2010-12-17T18:04:00.000-08:00

We've decided that we LOVE vacation time at Casa Bernabe! This week has been simply beautiful....lots of nice sunshine, lots of laughter and more blessings than we could count!

About three months ago we started working with a local business, Pricemart in order to provide ALL our kids with Christmas presents. It was alot of work and the folks at Pricemart were so dedicated and determined to make sure that our kids experienced the blessing of receiving! Pricemart decorated a tree and the ornaments were fotos of our precious kiddos. Members were able to adopt a child and provide for their needs, clothes, shoes and even toys. Yesterday was the day and it was AMAZING! Pizza, cake and presents....we asked one of our kids to volunteer to pray and one of our 7 year old boys prayed such a beautiful prayer, blessing God for providing and considering the desires of our hearts. So fun!!!

The kids got AMAZING gifts and we all felt so blessed! It was a great time for all!

Yesterday afternoon, following our Christmas party we took 20 youth out to serve in our local community. They took clothes, toys and blankets to share with the community around us. We prayed over families as we attempted to meet a few needs. It was an amazing time....really, really amazing! We are enjoying the opportunity to build relationships with the children of this community!

As we entered our campus the sound of laughter filled the air. Kids everywhere playing with their new toys and just enjoying laughs....It was simply beautiful.
We are enjoying a more relaxed environment and the opportunity to spend more time just lov'n on our children. Tonight we are just grateful, grateful for a God who sees and knows our hearts, grateful for family and friends, for blankets on cold nights and shoes for our feet! AND grateful for people in our community who have compassionate hearts and the determination to bless our 165 children!

"Stay Close..."

2010-12-12T14:33:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that 2010 is almost history. As I look back over the past year there is one word that comes to mind..."BUSY!" I think almost every update included the word at least once and was so true of our reality! Over the past few weeks I've been so blessed to just sit, to ponder and to stew over our family, life and ministry here at Casa Bernabe.

In the craziness of raising 165 children how do we stay focused, how do we keep our perspectives wide...
I confess that my tendancy is to just focus on the little piece of life that is right in front of my face, a screaming child, a failed test, a critical supervisor, etc. causing my brow to forrow and my perspective to be slim. I'm thinking that this is not exactly how God has called or is calling me to respond to life. Self-evaluation is not fun but I think it's necessary evil, inspiring real change and deep growth. That said, I'm grateful for the many moments God's given me in the last month to just think!

As I've asked some really hard questions and recognized some really difficult things about my own character, God has not spoken in a booming voice or fixed me....though that would have been a splendid thing to experience. No, my loving Savior has given me one challenge...."STAY CLOSE to me!"

John 15:1-6
"I am the vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch of mine that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. ABIDE (Stay Close) in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

This passage has been a great source of affliction in the past but for today Christ is simply challenging me to focus on staying close to Him, on abiding rather than on the lack of fruit in my life. Those areas of my life and character that are such a challenge right now can only be corrected as the character of Christ bears up under me and reflects through me....and that can only be accomplished as I sit with Him.

In sitting at His feet, the truth of what lies deep in my heart has begun to rise to the surface. Not easy or fun to deal with but this week I feel more excited than ever as I feel the Spirit of God moving and changing me, empowering me to let go of past wounds and to walk in JOY! In my last post I shared that God has been challenging us in a serious way as we learn to shepherd our youth here at Casa Bernabe. As we desire to take them deeper, past cultural Christianity, the Spirit of God is challenging us too....allowing us to feel the heat of the fire as we sit in the crucible, willingly allowing the Holy Spirit to dig deep into our secret places, healing and burning off all that would keep us from reflecting GLORY.

So much more to share but for now dear friends....the challenge is this....STAY CLOSE!

Where am I?

2010-10-20T17:07:00.000-07:00

Where are YOU? For the past bit I feel like God's been asking me, "Tonilynn, Where in the world are you?"

Life has been so busy and I've been on this unique journey that's truly left my mind looking a little more like mush and less like something functional! No, I've not taken up drinking or illegal drugs but as God continues to lead us toward restoration here on this mountainside, He's not just allowed us along for the ride with our young people but He's really challenged us to be active participants. As He works, His Spirit penetrates more and more intimate, hidden places and my mind reels! I LONG for more of HIM, for the FULL revelation of CHRIST in my life.

How often we miss it! I think that is the point of His question and I deeply feel that He's calling me to be PRESENT! Present in this moment, not planning or looking to tomorrow but rather, HERE right now, available to my beautiful little boy as he finishes math homework....Here right now aware of Stefan's intimate needs....Here just enjoying this moment!

As we journey toward RESTORATION, so often we're looking at our kids, their pasts, their challenges and we are looking for ways to love them to the cross. That in and of itself is not wrong or bad but I know that in looking, trying to be creative, thinking ahead sometimes I miss really precious moments to just be with them. I feel so challenged to just be....

Where am I? Well lately I've been caught up in alot of really good stuff but I've missed alot of really precious moments so I'm praying for balance in my life, I'm praying that GOD will continue to break yokes, to free me of my past and to guide me on this journey that's become so very personal!

Perspective...

2010-10-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

Recently I wrote about the rain, it's abundance has left us overwhelmed. As I drove off our property the other day I was stunned! The gravity of the situation in Guatemala can be seen at every turn. The land cannot take any more water and as the slides continue I am reminded of God's faithful care of us here at Casa Bernabe. Life continues here and often the crisis does not penetrate our land....it's stunning really! Just a kilometer away the slides continue...

Here in our little room, thanks to Tony B. our waterfalls have been detained and life without buckets has resumed! In the midst of buckets, black trash bags and heavy storms I thought more than once, "what's next?" I'm ashamed to admit this as we truly are so blessed here. My attitude was certainly LESS than God exhalting and I found myself demanding my "rights" at the throne. "I've worked so hard all day, I'm empty and God I cannot share my bed with the rain!" As Stefan and I finally gave in and realized that sleep would not be possible beauty somehow flooded our room. There we lay with bowls on our chests eating apples and laughing away! Life doesn't always look the way we'd like it to, experiences are not always what we expect but when we are truly living surrendered to the KING of KINGS, life is beautiful! The more that we ask Christ to "REVEAL" Himself to us, the more conscious we are of our words, our attitudes and of eachother!

Tonight we watched a movie with some friends and were so impacted by three particular women in the film that were the town "gossips." It was amazing, before a word came out of their mouths we knew that they were gossips....their faces told the story...
I'm challenged as I look in the mirror tonight....what is the story that my face tells? What is it that those around me receive when I open my mouth? AND even more importantly what is it that Christ receives from this supposed intimate relationship that we share? Is HE truly glorified? Do I live more and more TOTALLY surrendered TO Him?

So I come back to this:
CHRIST REVEAL YOURSELF FULLY TO ME, TO MY FAMILY AND TO MY COMMUNITY. We are not content with what we've got....we want MORE OF YOU! I truly believe that as we plead with Christ for Him to "ABIDE" with us and as we truly seek to ABIDE in HIM we will see COMPLETE RESTORATION.

Thoughts from under the rain...

2010-09-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

There are those weeks, you know the kind...when it seems like emotionally, spiritually and mentally it's just one storm after another. I'm quite sure that's where the phrase, "when it rains it pours" comes from. Well it's been one of those months it feels like! And today I'm actually writing from under the rain...literally! It's been raining non-stop for a while now but over the past few days the rain has been long and hard. It's come down so hard infact that it burst right through my roof and joined me on my bed! We're talking buckets! And there was really nothing I could do about it! Except cry! So many leaks in my roof that there was no escaping it! No place to move the furniture...no way out! Thankfully today God sent a solution and for the moment our roof is holding under the pressure of the rain. But the whole experience has got me thinking....stay tuned for a future blog on this subject.

Stefan and I have started the 4th grade and let me just say, it's a whole new ball game! This year we felt so ready and we are just stunned at the difficulty of the material. Between video instruction and homework, school is at least a 10 hour day! Stefan and I are learning alot about eachother, our weaknesses and our need! In all of this I've been thinking about what it means to be a parent, the ups, the downs, the unexpected failures and the unmerited successes! I've relied more on the Spirit of God in the past three weeks in relation to parenting than I have in a long time and it's been so amazing to watch Him move among us...granting me patience and eyes to see....giving Stefan steadfastness and a willingness to learn. When we lived at Texan Hall we felt so blessed materially! We lived in this amazing 3 bedroom cottage and just enjoyed life. Our kitchen had a table...thanks Phyllis Salamy! Our porch had a table and those tables provided the awesome opportunity to fellowship together as a family! But in our one little room here we've struggled to implement our normal family traditions! And I had no idea how this was affecting Stefan. This past week we've begun to put our closet together which has provided extra space, we bought another chair and now are enjoying meals around a table....and what a difference that has made! We've laughed so much and that has truly brought healing and rest to our busy, busy lives!

Beautiful...

2010-09-12T21:58:00.000-07:00

7 years ago I was sitting at my desk at Oklahoma Baptist Homes for Children, while my sweet boy was "signing the sidewalk"....making history at Casa Bernabe. Our hearts hung in the balance as we waited for God to move mountains to make our family a reality and now...GLORY!!!!!!! HE IS FAITHFUL! Each time I walk over Stefan's sweet little hand prints I am reminded....GOD DID THIS! AND He continues to be FOR these children...each one of our 162 beautiful pearls!

An update of sorts....

2010-09-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

Our lives are crazy! I think that so often and then I wonder what I expected when I signed up to play an active role in raising 160 kiddos! There is truly never a dull moment around this place!

The month of August was so busy! So many exciting things happened....

Darkness 2 Light:

Part of the vision that the Lord laid on my heart for 2009-2010 was to be able to impart, Darkness 2 Light: 7 Steps to Preventing Sexual Abuse, training to our staff here at Casa Bernabe as well as like-minded ministries in our area. After months of preparing and a very generous donation from Darkness 2 Light we were able to have our first two seminars. In two days there were 47 participants from 5 different organizations in our area. So exciting!!! This is a photo from the first day of training! I am so grateful for the time and resources to be able to impart this MUCH needed information. Since the training I have been contacted by several organizations hoping to host simular training sessions within the month of September. Please continue to pray for open doors to share the HOPE of Christ through these Sexual Abuse Prevention Seminars.

Baby M.:

Several months ago I sent out a petition in my weekly newsletter asking for prayer for a precious young lady in our ministry. Baby M. was born on August 11th to this sweet young lady and we have just marveled at the way that God has poured out provision through His people and covered both mom and baby in His love, mercy and healing. Both are home and we are looking forward to growing with them on this journey!

A visit to the National Palace:

On Monday morning the director of CB walked into my office and asked me to drive her to the National Palace on Tuesday to meet the Vice President of Guatemala....AMAZING! Tuesday we loaded a van full of 18 kids and 3 adults and began our journey! There was traffic galore, land slides blocking two lanes of traffic which had to be cleared before we could continue and there were car sick kiddos....but somehow we made it to the Palace on time! I'm not really sure what we expected, what I expected but I was blown away! The palace courtyard was full of children.....ALL of whom have experienced more hurt, abuse and neglect then words can express. I watched as one of CB's own took the podium. She stood as a voice for thousands of children who until now have no doubt felt that their voice was unheard. A. challenged Ambassadors from around the world as well as the Vice-President of Guatemala to take an active role in preventing child abuse in Guatemala. She shared part of her story and led these powerful law makers in an oath to Guatemala's children. It was to say the least a powerful moment! There were 18 children in all who participated in the ceremony and in the end the Vice President pinned each one as Ambassadors of Peace. I watched as the this powerful man took time to listen to these children.....

As he went to exit the room one of our youngest little girls dunked under the Secret Security line and stood in front of the Vice President. As a member of security went to pull her out of the circle the VP put his arms around her and she asked:

Mr. Vice President....Do you believe in God?

YES. he replied....

Then I would like to pray over you....she responded.

With that the VP bowed his head and this young one prayed a powerful prayer over him.

I am challenged daily by our children, their boldness and their will to overcome intense struggles brought on by rejection, abuse and abandonment. As I watched this little girl I thought of Esther. With boldness she entered the circle and she proclaimed the name of the LIVING GOD to one of the most powerful men in Guatemala. BEAUTIFUL. Just beautiful!

August 31, 2010

2010-08-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

August is my birth month.....and this year God blessed me in ways I could not have imagined or even thought to ask! I've done alot of pondering this month, a ton of wrestling and on this last night of August find myself rejoicing. Rejoicing because Stefan and I serve such an AMAZING God who is to us, Father, Husband, Comforter, Provider and Protector! Rejoicing because in the midst of sorrow, there is joy, in the midst of challenges there are solutions, in the midst of failure there is GRACE......

Open Doors

2010-07-26T21:12:00.001-07:00

"The words of the holy one, the true one, who has the key of David, who opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens." Revelations 3:7

The days and weeks seem to run together and more and more I feel like my head is spinning as our lives move at this fast pace. But last week as I sat down with my "to do" list I was overwhelmed by the amount of large projects and I just began to pray…Lord, not my will but yours be done in each of these projects. There was a VBS happening at my home church, Snow Hill Baptist Church in Tuttle, Oklahoma and they had chosen to highlight the work at Casa Bernabe and specifically our baby house. This meant sending pictures, videos and the like…however our internet decided not to cooperate making an easy task a long and frustrating one. There was this HUGE project with Brigada 40….that of organizing a mission trip to build houses for widows! Great project but honestly my faith was dwindling in the area of finances…There was the issue of this Sexual Abuse Prevention seminar that I am to facilitate in August but the material arrived late to team in MO and thus did not make it here. In each area I began to pray…Lord, open and close doors….

Tonight I am STUNNED!

We serve an AMAZING GOD who hears our prayers and orchestrates events that we couldn't even dream up to accomplish HIS purpose.

The VBS at Snow Hill was AMAZING from what I hear! Brandi S. caught the vision for the baby house and did an incredible job of empowering our family in the Tri-City area to impact the beautiful babies that Casa Bernabe serves. We thought it would be nice to have a rubber floor for the baby house as our tile can be so unforgiving and through the faithfulness of children, our baby house will be REMODELED, including a rubber floor! THANK YOU SNOW HILL!!!! Oh, and the internet finally allowed us to upload….if you haven't seen the videos….please check them out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IzN_iyddzg or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA_OA-ATJFY
Our widow building project has developed and grown so much over the past week. God confirmed that we have the finances to build 3 houses! This is AMAZING! The youth at Snow Hill have worked super hard and the community of faith there has been super supportive! They have raised enough money to provide a home to a widow in need!!!! And our team here will GET to build it and share Jesus in such a practical way! Living Stones confirmed that they will join us for the trip and will provide the financing for 2 houses! Our kids are super stoked about raising funds here…car washes, bracelet sales and the like will allow them to play an active role in this project! Dates have been set and the door before us is OPEN!!!!
About a month ago I was invited to share my heart in the area of sexual abuse prevention at a meeting where orphanages from around the country would be represented. I was so excited although a bit nervous. The idea for a seminar was received enthusiastically and a date was set, however the material never made it down…frustrating! BUT God made a way and just today I received ALL the material in my office to be able to offer this valuable training to 10 different ministries. SO EXCITING!

I am so amazing at the way that God provides for us! His timing is perfect and His provision beyond what I could ask or imagine!

More on a mama's heart and surrender...

2010-07-18T20:27:00.000-07:00

So this month has brought so many amazing opportunities with the girls on our campus! It's so fun to experience God move and change my heart with time! The first time that I experienced Casa Bernabe, God totally wrecked me but He did so through the sweet smiles and heart-wrenching cries of the three, four and five year olds on campus. Ministry looks so different this time around and part of the blessing of being a part of the youth here is that the youth now ARE those exact three, four and five year olds.

So one of the most enjoyable things I did this month was plan a retreat for our "Quince" group. It was SO much FUN!!! We are so thankful for the way that God has empowered Living Stones in Reno, NV to come alongside this group of young people to help prepare them for their futures.

The retreat has been an idea that has occupied our minds much of late and at the heart of it, the desire to address such issues as higiene, pure relationships and of course sex...the good, the bad and the ugly. We were so blessed by the way that God provided and pulled every detail together. The hotel that we stayed in offered bungalows with kichens which allowed for Quince to plan their meals and then we all went shopping together. It was great for the kids to come face to face with the reality of what it really takes, financially, to feed that many of them. They had a budget and the girls had to put things back due to lack of funds which was a really amazing experience. They talked through it...made decisions but in the end still ate like queens!

The sessions were informal which made for a family like environment and the girls responded so well! Throughout the two days I was able to connect with girls that I've really not known before and I was able to really build up relationships with others. Sometimes we experience things in life and we ask..."How could this happen? How could God possibly use this for His glory?" I've asked these questions alot in my life and honestly each time I think there is no way, God shows up in a big way, turns the challenges into something usuable in His Kingdom and gets the GLORY! I truly feel like that is what happened during our two days together. Every adult present was able to speak into these lives in such pivotal ways.

I've had some revelations this month that ONLY a LOVING Father could give. For the past five years I've begged the Lord for a house full of boys and the ability to stay at home and minister to and raise up God-fearing men. Well, I have two full time jobs, try to manage Stefan's homeschool and so the term "stay at home mom"....pretty much not a reality! However as I mentioned in my last post God recently opened a door for me to become a foster parent. While I totally believe that this is an opportunity that God has given, I have also felt Him gently nudging my heart, gently asking me what it is that I truly desire to do. Is it to be that stay at home mom....which would take a miracle by the way.....
OR
Is it to be a social worker, a youth worker, a disciple maker????? It is not that both aren't possible but reality is that it's really challenging to do it all and do it well. So tonight I lay my mama's heart, my need for reorgainization and my desire to serve King Jesus at HIS feet in surrender....
Lord have your way...not my will but yours be done!

Update on life.....

2010-07-17T21:22:00.000-07:00

This blog background seemed perfect....even now as I type the raining is falling steadily on my roof....as the coffee brews and my two little ones snooze, I finally have a minute to reflect....to think back and the last few weeks.

It's been a over a year since Stefan and I answered God's invitation to join HIM here at Casa Bernabe and it's been an amazing journey to say the least. Each day is a new adventure that causes me to have to step out of my comfort zone, ruthlessly trust HIS sovereign hand and relinquish the control I so tightly hold onto!

About two months ago I was encouraged by a dear friend to consider what ruthless surrender looks like, to consider what letting go really would entail. Now, let me share that this has been a painful journey! One that is still evolving and that takes a new and different shape everyday! Honestly I felt that I was "surrendered" in every sense of the word....I mean really! So the first stop on this journey: PRIDE!
In researching surrender and trying to grapple with the concept that I was not surrendered I came upon a devotional that convicted me beyond words.

"Let God shine His holy light on the dark corners of you that you've never let Him touch. And tear up that contract you want God to sign; the one with all the ways you've wanted things to be. Give Him a blank piece of paper, pre-signed by you to do whatever He writes on it. You're at the end of your power and at the beginning of His. Surrendering is the way to winning, and powerlessness is the most powerful position in the world."

I was stunned as I read these words. A vision came into my mind of me standing before the throne with my contract, jumping up and down like a crazy woman...."just, please LORD sign it..." The Lord lead me to then cut out a heart and list upon it all my desires....all the things I was attempting to control.....all the beautiful plans I'd made for myself. And then I took out a plain piece of white paper and I signed it.....
I truly desire GOD to pen this story!

Fast forward a month or so and I am now mama to not one but two sweet boys! Not something that I had written into the pages of my story for 2010! Yet God in HIS mercy chose our family to be a refuge to a child in need! It's been a hard adjustment...much harder than I expected but God is doing an amazing work in our family! He's doing a work in our hearts, sealing His plan upon us and encouraging us to trust him ruthlessly!

It's been hard to balance my role as mama and my responsibilities here at Casa Bernabe. Hard to be what I need to be in all areas....tonight I feel broken! God has opened my eyes in the past days to the struggle that these little ones are truly faced with, he's broken my heart for our care givers who are raising not two but 16 or 18 little four year olds. Rejection, abandonment, FEAR and developmental delays make life so challenging! I can't see the future...have no idea what the Father is going to write but I know for today He's given me two sweet boys and I'm so grateful for the peace we feel in our home tonight!

Brigada 40

2010-07-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

SO EXCITING!!!! A missionary and member of our youth leadership team made this video recently! 2010 has been such an exciting year in relation to our youth on campus and the vision that God has given us for them! It's been so awesome to watch them grow together, learn together and serve together....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA_OA-ATJFY

BRIGADA 40 Service Project

2010-07-13T10:51:00.000-07:00

(Widow House built near Chichicastenango)

Since the moment we were asked to led the youth of Casa Bernabe, we've had a passion to see a new generation rise up among the young people we serve. A generation committed to recognize needs within the community and compassionately extend their hands to make a difference. It's not difficult to see that the community at large is deeply in need. With the erruption of the Pacaya Volcano, Tropical Storm Agatha and other natural disasters the need in Guatemala is both profound and urgent.

BRIGADA 40 was privileged to serve Chimaltenango a few months ago through the sharing of beans, rice and the GOSPEL. It was a truly impacting experience for our youth group and we are anxious to again be able to give out of what the LORD has so graciously provided us!

We'd like to ask for your prayers as we prepare to journey to Chichicastenango with a group of 12 youth to build houses for widows in that area. The picture above is of a home we recently visited. Our hope is to be able to build 4 houses just like this one over the span of 3 days. We are so excited to have Living Stones from Reno, NV joining us on this project and have just been amazed by God's provision!

Our 12 youth will be working over the next 3 months in order to contribute to the project. As we prepare to invest in these 12 youth and build houses for 4 different families we ask that you would stand with us in prayer. Please pray that God would hand pick the families we are to bless, that we would be wise in our planning and that God would open doors for us to invest in these youth.

THANK YOU for your love, prayers and willingness to journey with us! BLESSINGS!!!!

II Peter 1:5-8

2010-06-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

"For this ver reason, make every effort to ad to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge; and to knowledge self-control; and to self-control, perservance; and to perservance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness and to brotherly kindness, love. For IF you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they willkeep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our LORD Jesus Christ."

God is GOOD and His continued presence in our lives continually amazes me! I find myself more and more grateful for the way that GOD shelters our community, for the way He provides for us through HIS beautiful people, for the way He brings JOY through the giggles and pitter-patter of little feet! I am GRATEFUL!

This passage of scripture has been our focus this year in Brigada (youth group) and each time I read it I am challenged. Challenged to make effort in my faith, challenged to not grow weary in doing good, challenged to pursue knowledge as as for a hidden treasure, to call my thoughts and actions into obedience thus expressing self-control....I am challenged to be KIND...to truly LOVE my brothers.....I am convicted and empowered to journey on striving for all these...

"Then I looked up-and there before me was a man with a measuring line in his hand! I asked, 'Where are you going?'

He answered to me, "To measure Jerusalem, to find out how wide and how long it is." Then the angel who was speaking to me left, and another angel came to meet him and said to him:

RUN, tell that young man, 'Jerusalem will be a city without walls because of the great number of men and livestock in it. And I myself will be a WALL of FIRE around it,' declares the LORD, 'and I will be it's glory within.'" Zechariah 2:1-5

As I think of the events of the past weeks around our world and specifically here in Guatemala I am reminded of this BEAUTIFUL passage of scripture. Here at Casa Bernabe we have experienced the presence of the LORD expressed so mightily in HIS WALL of FIRE around us, sheltering us and protecting us time and time again! With the earthquake, volcano and tropical storm there was great potential for an affect an our lives and the life of our minsitry BUT GOD in HIS mercy has so sheltered us!

We covet your prayers for the community that surrounds us and for the nation we serve!

Strawberry Cheesecake and Chocolate Coffee

2010-05-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

Some of my most favorite things in life....cheesecake, coffee and FLOWERS! God has been so good to give our family a little patio that we have FILLED with beautiful flowers which greet us each morning with their BEAUTY.

Tonight as I sip on chocolate coffee, give a spelling test and ponder the past weeks I'm AMAZED at the God I serve and the way HE empowers HIS children to do MORE than they feel capable of doing, to LOVE deeper than they can comprehend and to SERVE beyond what they feel their strength will allow. The past weeks have been a whirlwind of events, inspiring a mirage of emotions and ushering in exhaustion. I am comforted by Matthew 11....

"Come to me, all all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you REST. Take my yoke upon you, and LEARN from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you WILL FIND REST for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Last week I had the honor of sharing God's WORD during our weekly youth meeting. Normally I am so nervous about speaking in front of ANYONE in Spanish BUT God was so good to shower me with peace about the whole ordeal. Still I didn't have a WORD that I truly felt was from HIM. At the last moment God began to speak to my heart about this AMAZING love story. Everyone loves a good love story and as God led me to Hosea, He began to challenge my heart in relation to our tendancy as Christians to play the harlot. We know the truth and yet so often deny the power thereof!

I thought about the first real love letter I ever received. It was a cold November morning and there on my snow covered windshield was a letter to me from a man who was pursuing my heart. Talk about BEAUTIFUL! I still remember what I felt and as I took a walk down memory lane God began to challenge my heart. What things distract me....facebook, work, even ministry from this beautiful relationship with the LIVING GOD?

The fun part of falling in love is getting to know the other person, their likes - dislikes, their character...especially under pressure.....experiencing LIFE together. Falling in love with the Living God is much the same and through his precious WORD we get to know His amazing character, the things that overjoy his heart and the ways that we continually break it. As we walk through life in this intimate relationship our experience is so much sweeter....and it goes on and on and on FOREVER!

Oh that He might help me to push through the distractions and obstacles and presser deeper into HIS HEART!

Answered Prayers....

2010-04-21T08:45:00.000-07:00

Praise GOD!!!! He's provided us with a beauiful vehicle.....

We are so excited to finally have a car of our own! Which means on our weekends off we can take a break from our beautiful campus and enjoy some sweet r & r.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! For praying with us, for standing with us believing for this miracle....

Coffee, Chocolate and Cheese (Take 2)

2010-04-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

I've used this blog more often that not to share about all that God is doing here on our mountainside in Guatemala. But lately I've just felt led to share a bit about what God is doing in us...hence the title...
"Coffee, Chocolate and Cheese..."
A little background: Years ago during my first years of service I lived with some AMAZING women in our baby house. We were all single and either adopting or fostering children. Often we'd find ourselves gathered around the kitchen table at 9:00p.m. or later for coffee, chocolate of some kind and a snack which usually included cheese in one form or another. It was a time of GREAT encouragment to my soul and accountability for my weak heart! In those times, around that table I didn't feel so alone....didn't so much notice that I was single...didn't so much miss my husband. I felt so satisfied in the LORD and so grateful for the dear friends that He was allowing me to fellowship with and glean from.
So as I considered sharing more personal thoughts through this blog I thought "Coffee, chocolate and cheese" would make a great title!

Each Sunday church is different! Different worship team, different preacher...etc. Normall Stefan and I take the three year olds out for Sunday School but today there was a special group of volunteers who came in to take our place, giving Stefan and I the opportunity to stay in "big church." Worship was AMAZING...and I really felt the LORD confirming some words that He had been speaking to me in private. Earlier I journaled about living a "surrendered life." Job lived a surrendered life without question....when life was falling in around him what did he do? WORSHIP....yes that's right, the man got on his face and worshiped the LIVING GOD. Now that is surrender! In the midst of crisis, trauma....UNREAL brokenness, Job didn't turn to his friends, he didn't run to his pastor or spiritual advisor, he didn't kill himself....HE WORSHIPED!
In the midst of our circumstances...good, bad or otherwise do we find ourselves grateful? My heart is convicted....
I deeply desire to live a life TOTALLY surrendered to the LIVING GOD. I want to reflect HIS glory in every desicion, attitude and response.
Challenged to live this week a bit different than the last...

Coffee, Chocolate and Cheese....

2010-04-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

Life gets so busy....at times it seems to fly by at the speed of light! With 160 kids our lives are nothing less than an adventure....sometimes more challenging than we feel capable of handling, sometimes more sorrowful than our hearts feel able to bear and sometimes so JOYFUL that cups overflow....

In the midst of our ministry and role here at Casa Bernabe, Stefan and I continue to grow as a family! It's been almost nine years since my little bundle of JOY was born and my mind reels as I look back and see the MIGHTY, COMPASSIONATE hand of God over our lives! Yesterday while on a tour of our facilities he came to me with a mirage of needs. As I attended him I listened to a dear friend TESTIFY to the GOODNESS of GOD through our story! At times it's so challenging to be a single mama, to work more than full time here in this ministry, to homeschool and somewhere in there still be me.....but I am learning more and more about what it truly means to live a SURRENDERED life.

Several months ago in the midst of more sorrow than I felt capable of bearing I began to ask, "GOD, seriously what is it that you want from me?" Stefan was struggling with the absence of a daddy in his life and I was feeling responsible, I was working through several really difficult situations with our children here at CB and just feeling ready to be a mama to a house instead of a Social Worker....there again knowing that without my husband that would be impossible. In that brokenness the questions in my heart were a deep ocean and I felt hopeless to change anything, incapable of taking the pain, the frustration....
"God, seriously what is it that you want from me?" I TRULY felt that I was living a surrendered life.....it took weeks but in the silence God began to reveal to me the picture of a crucible and an intense fire. What does GOD want from me? He wants to see His own GLORIOUS reflection in ALL that I Am.... AND in order to acheive those results the fire must get hotter, PRIDE must be destroyed, my "I CAN DO IT....OR better yet....I WILL DO IT MYSELF" attitude has to be crucified, my plans must become submissive to HIS purpose and I must be willing everyday to TRULY live a LIFE fully surrendered to the LIVING GOD.

Today as we prepare to worship with 160 children my prayer is that God will continue to refine me as a mama...that I might attend the needs, wants and desires of my precious little Stefan with WISDOM, that I might be a living example of the ONE that I serve....and that as a community we would be unified in seeking RESTORATION in the GOD who lives, moves among us and LOVES us more than we could ever imagine.

Holy Week...

2010-04-07T11:25:00.000-07:00

Service Project @ the dump in Chimaltenango

Since the beginning of time we as humans have been FORGETFUL! We forget everything from where we last left our keys to AMAZING experiencing had at the hand of a GRACIOUS and LIVING God! Often we live within our circumstances as though they are exclusive...that is to say that those circumstances are all that matter. AND thus we FORGET about the world around us, the trials our "brothers and sisters" are experiencing....famine, war, abuse, abandonment, etc.

In our community here I think it is even easier to FORGET. We live on the side of the mountain and EVERYTHING we need is here. It's rare that we experience life apart from this place....you could even say that we live in a bubble! That is not to say it's utopia but it's a place that is certainly sheltered from the world. As we've considered these things, we felt led by the Holy Spirit to incorporate service projects as a part of the VISION for youth group in 2010.

Honestly as we planned it was a HUGE step of FAITH. We felt led to do some sort of project in the city dump but for months had no response from the ministry located there. Then, sort of out of the blue some great friends, Charlie and Pat Reynolds introduced us to a new ministry beginning in their city at the dump. So we made a trip out there to visit them but also to explore partnership possibilities.

After MUCH planning our youth - - BRIGADA 40 began to prepare through a 40 day fast in which they each chose to give up an element of life, something important to them in order to make more room in their lives for the presence of the LORD. On the last day of that fast we called an optional but communal fast among BRIGADA in order to prepare specifically for the service project out in Chimaltenango. WHAT an AMAZING day it was! The youth arrived, the majority having chosen to fast, they jumped into the prep process....sorting and bagging beans and rice, wrapping gifts of hygiene products, cutting fruit and practicing a program through which they would present the GOSPEL. It was AMAZING!

No complaining, no bad attitudes....And at the end we spent time in small groups praying over the activity instead of eating.

As I pondered the events of the day it occured to me that the FAST was ENJOYABLE! And the Lord led me to Isaiah 58...

"Is not this the fast that I choose:

To LOOSE the bonds of wickedness,

to UNDO the straps of the yoke,

to LET the oppressed go free,

And to BREAK every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?

Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, "HERE I AM."

THE FAST WAS ENJOYABLE!

The next day at 8:00a.m. we headed to Chimaltenango for the service project...

BRIGADA 40 served at Pat and Charlie's school and it's surrounding community and then at the Chimaltenango dump as well. Our hearts were so tender and the Spirit of God moved among us and through us mightily! And the Lord continues to work among us....

OUR CHALLENGE: To REMEMBER this new found perspective and to walk in GRATEFULNESS!

Long overdue Update....January 14, 2010

2010-01-16T11:12:00.001-08:00

They say a picture says a thousand words! I absolutely love these of our little ones, taken a couple of weeks ago during a campus wide event!

This was taken on New Year's Eve.....fireworks galore!!!! It was such a loud night but so much fun! We had two teams here and they gracious made the entire campus dinner and then we enjoyed worship together and of course the finale was a HUGE fireworks show! It was a beautiful way to ring in the New Year!

So much has happened in our short time back and I'm not sure exactly how to communicate all that God has done! Our first six months were so challenging and my stomach turned as we boarded our plane to return to Guatemala....unsure of the challenges that would surely await us! But I was more confident than ever that God had called us and annointed this time for us to serve at Casa Bernabe....and that alone brought a great deal of peace, still my flesh was insecure!

As we flew I grew more and more relaxed and a peace that I cannot even begin to describe covered me and has continued to this day!

We hit the ground running! Southwest Baptist University had just arrived and so we dropped our luggage off and ran to do orientation for this 11th SBU team! It was so exciting for me to have this as my first assignment as I graduated from SBU and was a member of the first ever Casa Bernabe team. Just participating in that orientation brought such encouragement to my heart....and brought back so many amazing memories of ALL that God ALMIGHTY has done these 11 years.

From there we've been diving in....Stefan to his homeschool and me to learning more and more about Social Work in Guatemala. I feel a renewed passion to be a voice, to impart resources and to just be a part of the process that each child walks through.

I am excited to be able to delegate some of my public relations responsibilities to a sweet couple from a local church and to instead be able to jump into mentoring our young women. The road that we've been on over the past few months has been such an adventure but it's so exciting to see where God has brought us and to experience the anticipation of where He's taking us.

About three months ago God laid the word RESTORATION on my heart. That word has been burnt on my heart but the process has left me speechless....without answers....as my good friend McKenzie would say...."it's left me pensive." How do we take these kids from our door up the mountain to the summit of RESTORATION? What should that process look like? HOW in the world do we connect intimately with each child we serve in order to come alongside them in the process?

Pray for us as we continue to ponder and as we enter 2010 with a focus of RESTORATION in every life/heart on our mountainside....children and adults alike. For the next 40 days we will focus on Forgiveness.....both experiencing it and rendering it....please pray for open hearts and a readiness in our children to both receive and render forgiveness. Please pray for our adults that we will be a reflection of the HEART of the ALMIGHTY and that they will see daily expressions of forgiveness in our lives/hearts/families.

More to come....

Embracing 2010....

2009-12-31T13:17:00.001-08:00

Embracing 2010....releasing 2009!

God's merciful hand was over our lives in 2009...that we can say for sure! Our hearts overflow today as we reflect on the year and ponder 2010 and all that it will bring! It's a calm afternoon here on the mountainside and God's presence so real to me as I sit down to write! In a few hours our family, 200 strong will gather for worship and prayer. The Gospel will be presented and we pray for it to take root and well up, changing lives - - breaking chains, freeing these precious little ones and allowing them to walk in constant victory.

We've been home now for two days and they have been mind blowing days! God has ordered our steps and allowed us to see needs, pray over kids like crazy, love on kids and pick right up building relationships! Oh that these kids would only see our sweet Jesus when they see us, that they would feel his sweet embrace as we love on them.....that their hearts would be drawn to Him, to the healing in just the hem of His garmet, to the overwhelming love in His eyes.

More than any other year I am so excited and already hanging on tight for 2010. I'm so pumped about all that God began in 2009 and the vision He's given for 2010.

As we rested over the past three weeks I feel like God brought so much conviction to my heart, new perspective and just a HOPE in future grace for all of us. We experienced some difficult times in our first six months and admit that it was too easy to get caught up in circumstance rather than to keep my (our) eyes fixed on the One who is BIGGER than the pain and suffering that surrounds us.

So as we already embrace this beautiful new year we Declare that WE ARE HIS and we're hanging on tight for the adventure! HAPPY 2010 dear ones.....

A fun pic...

2009-12-19T13:57:00.000-08:00

Reflections....

2009-12-18T06:53:00.000-08:00

I continue to learn so much from our children. It's funny, lessons just come in the silence....

Stefan and I have been reading through Matthew forever! It seems we'll never finish this book but everytime we open the WORD there is a serious WORD for our family. In the midst of reading I've been pondering all that Jesus came to do....the work of restoring us, a broken, hopeless people to a Holy God through perfect redemption on the cross.

Two weeks ago as I watched a little boy struggle to adjust, to accept love and grace in our home he spit on us, rejected our love.....
The Spirit of God has revealed to me so much through that experience. I cannot imagine the scorn, the rejection, the pain that Jesus felt as He bore up all my sin. As He was spit on, mocked, beaten and ultimately crucified so that I (we) could experience COMPLETE restoration....He willingly redeemed me (and all who would receive) at a price that is higher than I could ever imagine. How often do we, even those of us who "believe" reject Christ through attitudes and actions? I cannot tell you how much that spit in my face has caused me to think of all that Christ did to bring me life, and life more abundant. It has caused me to examine deeply....

I read a prayer the other day and it seems to be right in line with all that God is teaching me right....you can read it and be challenged by it at www.jmm.aaa.net.au

As we continue to ponder the time that God has granted for us to advocate for these little lives we ask that you would partner with us in prayer. That God would guide us in wisdom, that He would overwhelm us with a spirit of discernment and that our hearts would be willing to do exactly as He leads.

Dwelling...lessons learned from the field...

2009-12-12T14:22:00.000-08:00

Lessons learned from the field....
It seems as though the months passed in the blinking of an eye and yet as a family and personally we've learned so much in this season. We continually are amazed by God's immense grace and His limitless love!

One of my favorite books in college was A Chance to Die by Elizabeth Elliot. The book recounts the story of Amy Charmichael, a missionary to India who fearlessly served their children for 53 years. God had done some specific work in my soul before stumbling onto this book but as I turned the pages God confirmed time and time again His call on my life.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; withut him nothng was made that has been made. In HIM was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it....
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us." John 1:1-5 & 14

As I sit in my sister's living room, glad to be among family I find myself lost in thought. Pondering words like restoration, redemption, forgiveness....And as I think about this season I can't help but find peace in John 1:14....He, JESUS, became flesh and made His dwelling among us. Among our hurts, our brokeness, our filth, our hopelessness He both dwelt and brought the promise of future grace. And as such we each have a chance to die, a chance to let go of what this crazy world has to offer and to hold on tight to JESUS!

Last week we received a new little one in our family. He was an unexpected gift and brought with him unexpected challenges. God has used this little one in my life personally in ways that surpass what I could pen here. Enrique is six. As we walked into his room to meet him for the first time it was clear that he was not adjusting well. At that moment I didn't have a word to describe was my eyes were seeing but later upon praying intensely I believe that the Lord revealed the the word fear. As we talked with Enrique he spit on us, attempted to bite us and growled. I had never, never experienced anything of the sort. The next day during worship our team played a song and as they played I watched this little one be radically transformed. He came running over to me and said..."Hey, this is my song...this is my song....that guy up there is singing my song." Fear left and peace flowed freely as the band sang. I asked Enrique at that point, "how do you know this song?" to which he replied, "I was watching t.v. one night and heard this song on the God channel and I knew that it was just for me."

I am continually amazed at the God we serve. He knew that little Enrique was going to join our family if only for a time and he prepared a special gift to help him to be at peace through that song. Gifts that only our loving Father could give...so many things that God has taught me through Enrique this week.....

I am so grateful that Jesus came and dwelt among us....so grateful for the promise that a day is coming where injustice will cease, mourning will turn to perfect JOY and suffering will end. I am grateful for the beautiful ways that God weaves our lives together as a community of faith and for the honor of standing in HOPE with the children of Casa Bernabe.

The longer we serve the more I feel the Lord impress on my heart that this is a long term commitment to raise the next generation of God-fearing, passionate young men and women in Guatemala. Amy Charmichael served fearlessly and passionately for 53 years in India. She was confident of the call on her life and passionate about glorifying God in and through it.

Please pray with us as we evaluate the last six months and look forward to 2010.

25 years and more....

2009-12-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

During our 25th Anniversary weekend we had so much fun!!!! Thanks to a great team (Joel Corely and Steppin Out), Tony B. (a full-time missionary here) and countless others we were able to have such a great time!!! On Saturday a mini-fair was organized for all the chilren to participate in. There was an Awana Circle, an obstacle course, a baseball throw, and countless other relays. Following the mini-fair we were so blessed to have a picnic out on the lawn....the day was perfect. Later that afternoon the Casa Bernabe Band & Performance Group put on a concert. Then to top the day off we had a night of worship under the stars. Several local churches participated - - - what a beautiful time it was to give thanks to the ONE who has made these last 25 years of service to Guatemalan children and their families possible.

Here are a few pics from the races....
The celebration continued on Sunday with a program & dinner. It was such a special time! So many old and dear friends joined us to give thanks for the MIGHTY works of God in our lives throughout the past 25 years! Many, many children who grew up at Casa Bernabe returned with their children and stories of how God has been faithful in their lives throughout the years. We were also so blessed to have the Wyatt family join us from the US. They adoped little Jesse who was one the first babies to join our nursery on Casa Bernabe's main property. I have not seen Jesse for over six years.....it was so fun to get to squeeze him and to see and experience his sweet and tender heart all over again! He was so sweet to pack a special bag for Stefan of legos...not just any legos, his own! The boys chatted as old friends and it was just a beautiful reminder of the amazing family that we are all a part of in Christ.

Tony B. arranged an Awana circle for the kids during the mini-fair. The kids LOVED it!

There are so many testimonies of God's faithfulness to children in need through the mission and ministry of Casa Bernabe. There is an excitment deep within me as I think about the 25 years to come. We've seen God provide abundantly, place children in forever families, restore children to their father's and even more, hundreds of children have heard the Gospel!

Did your mommy and daddy leave you too?

2009-11-19T16:31:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was visiting the houses on our campus stressing the importance of dental hygiene with our staff when I noticed a new little one laying on the sidewalk in the sun. He looked at me and said,
"When you were a really little girl did your mommy and daddy bring you to this place and leave you here too?"
I wondered what was going through his mind in that moment? Rejection, feelings of abandonment...loneliness?

We had a long conversation about life and in the end he's still convinced that I too am an orphan and that I continue to live with my house-parent in the big green house. And you know I am okay with that because in a way it's true. There was a moment when I found myself in need of "forever" and in grace and mercy my Heavenly Father swooped in, satisfied that need and adopted me into His "forever" family.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the Heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In LOVE He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will - to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him we have redemption..."
Eph. 1:3-7a

Please pray for these precious little ones as they wrestle....pray for healing to rise up in the most profound places. Please pray for the adoption situation in Guatemala, that God in mercy would impart wisdom to those in the highest positions in government as they make decision that will affect this generation and generations to come.

A life update....

2009-11-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

Life here has been so busy....as usual right? We have been so blessed! So many beautiful things to share and equally so much intercession needed as we head into 2010 at full speed!

The past few weeks have been so busy! Stefan just finished his 52nd day of homeschool which means he'll finish his 2nd six weeks shortly! He's doing so well....getting adjusted to the routine and really self-movtivated! He'll have the next few days off as we prepare for our big Thanksgiving celebration here on campus....

This year Casa Bernabe has celebrated 25 years of service to Guatemala's children! There have hundreds of children pass through the ministry and it's been amazing to hear testimonies of children who have had an encounter with the Living God and been changed forever by HIS unfailing, limitless love! This coming weekend we will get together with friends and family to honor the Lord for his faithfulness over the years! We are so excited to see old friends, to enjoy good food and to remember together all that God has done.....

On Saturday we will have fair like activities for the kiddos, a huge cook-out/picnic and then worship together. Then Sunday we will have a special activity/program highlighting the last 25 years and then we'll have a traditional Thanksgiving meal....we'll be sure to post pics as soon as possible.

We continue to meet with the youth and it's been so much fun! Please continue to pray for these young men and women as they prepare for their futures. We are looking forward to our last meeting on December 2nd. It will be a fun time to get together, eat and play games. We've been so impressed with these young people and their maturity as we've talked about such moral issues as abortion, stealing, abuse and more. Please continue to pray for open hearts and for healing to rise up through these meetings.

Over the next two weeks Stefan and I will have the opportunity to help finish painting Casa Nueva Esperanza which will allow for more relationship building with those boys! And I will finish up several projects before heading to OKC for Christmas. I have been working on calls to local donors and have much left to do on this project...please pray for favor as I communicate with those in our area about the need for continued sponsorship. I also have a newsletter and monthly thank you card to get out....

I am so grateful to work with such an amazing team, men and women truly committed to fighting for justice, loving deeply and seeking solutions for each child that enters our care. I am learning that while I often feel so incapable of doing what is before me that it's important to remember that if it's before me that God has allowed it and will equip my hands to accomplish the task.

Last week Flory and I went to a women's breakfast at a local restaurant. I was surprised, right there in the middle of the restaurant these women were worshiping, crying out to God for healing, restoration and a word in and for their lives. The woman who shared that morning talked about having victory in the battlefield of the mind. I was convicted that many days it's so easy to get defeated as the work is great here and the laborers are few. Sometimes what has to be done is overwhelming and I allow the task to defeat me. I was reminded through this meeting that I am more than an overcomer and that I am simply the vessel. Such a timely and good reminder in this busy season.

Please continue to pray for us:

Pray for unity as our staff prepares for 2010.
Pray for healing to rise up in every area, in every child.
Pray for Stefan and I as we continue to build relationships with the children we serve.
Pray for a supernatural impartation of Spanish in our lives. My job requires a high level of Spanish fluency and I have MUCH to learn...and little time to study.
Pray for continued financial support so that our family can continue to stand in the gap.
Please, please pray for the provision of a vehicle in our lives....we REALLY need a vehicle to be used on both a professional and a personal level.
Please pray for our 2010 staff....there are so many needs in this area! Teachers, house-parents, house-helpers....etc.

Thanks for your prayers, support and love!!!!

A day with the boys....

2009-11-16T10:38:00.000-08:00

A fun day in the sun....

Learning to play baseball...

Playing tazos....still not sure how this game is played or it's purpose....

More on Samuelitos....(See earlier post for details...)

2009-10-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

This is the little church that is currently serves as a "Samuelitos" base in Chimaltenango.

These are the kids/adults that went with us to deliver the gifts!

One of our kids giving a gift...

This is the sweet family that serves the children of "Samuelitos" each weekend. They provide Bibical instruction, education about such things as reforestation, abuse prevention, hygiene and more. This family also provides meals for these children who otherwise would likely only eat
once daily.

Dia de la Biblia....Celebrating the WORD...

2009-10-27T08:35:00.001-07:00

Celebrating the Word.....

In August we were so excited to be able to dedicate one entire day to celebrating the Word of God here at Casa Bernabe. We felt that we could not celebrate the WORD without sharing the Word in some way and so we decided to pack up shoe boxes each containing toys, toothbrushes, school supplies and a Bible. We were not sure who we would donate these shoeboxes to but we knew God would provide the perfect place - and He did!

The kids worked hard, creating cards, choosing the best of their own toys to give and then wrapping the gifts. It took a few months to find just the right place but this past weekend God brought the project to an emotional close as we donated the gifts to a ministry in Chimaltenango.

Samuelitos: Un Reto Para Vivir....

Samuelitos is a ministry begun by this young lady (left). Laura is 21 years old and has a heart to see the children in her village come to know Christ in a personal way. Laura's parents are pastor's at a small church in the village which now serves as a base for this new children's program. The church is small....but on Sunday when we arrived there were about 100 people crammed into the tiny building. The children were absolutely precious! They themselves led worship, a time of adoration, prayer and Bible reading. Then the kids said thank you with a dance...

The most impacting moment came when Laura asked the kids from Casa Bernabe to give out the boxes they had prepared.... on of the kids had great expectations...his hope was to watch a child open the gift that he had prepared. God is so good, so personal and so with us....He considered the desire of Alizandro's heart and provided just that! A tiny little boys dug into the box and with great excitment pulled out the gifts that Alizandro had so lovingly given. The expression was priceless and Alizandro's reaction I will never forget. Later in the van he said, "I feel so privileged, so privileged to get to give of what I have...." All around the church kids excitedly opened their gifts and so many were excited about the Bibles that we had put in each box. Most of the kids do not have access to the Word of God in their homes. It was so exciting to see their reactions....such a blessing to be able to give back to the Kingdom.

Thank you for being a part of Casa Bernabe's extended family, for interceeding for our children and for enabling us to be able to give back!

Beauty in our midst....

2009-10-22T10:01:00.000-07:00

"A crown of Beauty instead of Ashes...
the oil of Gladness instead of Mourning...
a garment of Praise intead of a spirit of Despair..." Isaiah 61:3

It's been such a busy season....and yet so sweet! This week I have been working diligently on a Plan for Protection for our organaization. Casa Bernabe recently linked arms with the Viva Network - Red Viva here in Guatemala. Viva is an organization dedicated to training, networking and protecting children in crisis across the globe. As our involvement with Red Viva increases so do our oportunities to train our staff.
My section of training has to do with specific ways that we as an organization can be protecting the children that God entrusts to our care. It's been such a fun project. The information is amazing and will take us beyond evaluation and into action. While I am nervous about presenting in Spanish I'm so grateful for the oportunity to continue encouraging our staff, learning alongside one another and working hard together to create a healthy environment where we can grow kids God's way!

The boys at Nueva Esperanza continue to be so fun for me! There are 13 of them from 7 years old to 11 years old. I have one word for them...ENERGY! They are like a Monster Drink out of the can...ALWAYS! My goal in June was to get to know each child by name and I am so grateful to the Lord as he allows me each day really get to know each kid...beyond just their name.

Last week I spent a good deal of time just talking with different girls. It's been so good to hear their hearts, to sort of separate them from the rest and discover what makes them unique and then of course look for ways to help them live their dreams.

This week we've been so busy with all kinds of activities! We are getting ready to celebrate our 25th anniversary in November and so rehersals have begun for that. On Tuesday we spent time thanking a special group who have been here this week installing a really cool communication system. This will be so helpful especially at night!
Yesterday the psychologists had a really neat program to end their year with our kids...an art contest! At the end of the contest everyone stayed to watch a movie and have popcorn....it was raining and cloudy making it the perfect afternoon for a movie. Luky and Karla do such a great job with our kids....
Today we are celebrating the end of the scholastic year. There will be a special program to honor those completing the 6th grade as well as junior high. (I'll post pics a bit later...)

Thanks for your prayers as we continue to serve these children!!!

New experiences, New hope....

2009-10-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Stefan and I had such a great time! We were asked to housesit in Nueva Esperanza, our home for boys 8-11 years old. At first I was a bit intimidated at the thought of 14 boys and only one of me but it turned out great! There were folks who helped on and off but God was so good to keep a steady flow of energy, creativity and strength for each challenge. Stefan somehow managed a day of homeschool in the midst of madness and Sam survived a weekend alone.

Saturday we took family pics, played a two hour game of baseball....that was interesting seeing as baseball is not a much played sport here, we made dozens of cookies, homemade carmel popcorn and then settled in for Swiss Family Robinson...which the boys LOVED!

Thank you for continuing to keep us and our CB family in your prayers! There are so many activities coming up as well as staff vacations which happen once a year. These vacations leave us with less staff and so our energy, creativity and ability to handle challenges have to be steadfast and constant.

I will write a more detailed update soon......

"I Love You, O Lord, my strength."

2009-10-03T10:16:00.000-07:00

"I LOVE you, O Lord, my strength.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,

my God, my rock, in whome I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:1 & 2

Fifteen years ago I began a journey and much like the journey that I took into the city the other day, this journey has been long and full of joys and sorrows. And much like the journey into the city I had no idea what the road would look like along the way, I only knew the destination. As Marlon drove I observed the road, it's many curves, hills and valleys. There were so many stops along the way and I thought about this journey I've been on for the last fifteen years with my Savior. I thought about what it truly means to allow the Holy Spririt to guide the ebb and flow of my life - often I find myself wanting to make extra stops on the journey, I get distracted and in doing so I put myself in the driver's seat. When I surrendered my life, future and dreams to Christ, I also surrendered the driver's seat!

That day last week as Marlon and I drove into the city, God allowed for me to see a very clear picture of what this journey should look like. Not many words were spoken, I did not know the plan, all the stops we would make along the way and even more I didn't even know the road - I had to trust Marlon completely. AND daily I must completely trust God with every aspect of our lives. God is so merciful to prepare us in advance and to overwhelm us with His presence when this journey becomes more than we think we can bear.

When God sent me to Botswana, Africa 15 years ago I heard His voice very clearly...my heart was broken for the helpless situations that I saw, for the suffering of precious children and for the sick. Now as God strengthens us to work with the 167 children at Casa Bernabe I find myself going back to that "call" and even further to the day when HOPE invaded my heart. And more than anything in this world my desire is that our children be invaded HOPE through Jesus Christ and that they never again experience that pain of hopelessness.

This week that desire has turned into a passion through the death of a very young man that I was so honored to know through the ministry of Casa Bernabe. Osvin Loescher had a smile that was contagious and heart that was genuine. He often accompanied me into the city and I loved talking to him about his future, his passions and his siblings. They were five and from the beginning their unity was clear. Osvin had a dream to be a pilot, to be successful and be able to care for his younger siblings. While my mind struggles to understand the death of this young man with such immense potential, my heart feels drawn passionately toward others who find themselves in what seems to be hopeless. My prayer is that God would open my eyes even more to those who hurt, to those who suffer in the profound places of their heart and that God would empower me to effectively communicate HOPE in Christ. Who is in your path that needs a glimmer of HOPE?

A night out...

About two months ago God opened the doors for David McCormick and I to begin working with the young people at Casa Bernabe who are 15 years old or older. There are about 16 youth that fall into this age range and we've been able to meet with them twice. Our initial meeting was held in August and we explained our plan/purpose and then just chatted about events that impact our walk with Christ, questions about doctrine, manifestations of the Spirit and then what future meetings would look like. This past month we were so blessed to be able to take the kids out to a nice restaurant!

Our plan with this group of students is very well defined. The environment at Casa Bernabe is very closed, our school is here, our church is here, our garden is here....so the opportunity for the older kids to be out functioning in society or at the very least observing how society functions is very limited. We realize that these particular students will quickly arrive at their 18th birthday and our desire is that they be prepared for what that means. Over the next two months - the kids are out of school for vacation - David and I will meet with the students six times. I will meet four times with the girls separately to discuss various issues that impact a woman's life....from friendships, to leadership, to hygiene and more. Then we will regroup and give opportunity to discuss various ethical issues that we face in society.

We are so excited about this opportunity!!! And we covet your prayers:

Pray that God would give us favor as we build relationships with each one in the group.

Pray that God would reveal Himself to each one. (Phil. 3: 12-16)

Pray that God would mold their hearts, create strong, godly convictions in their hearts and that He Himself would establish them. (I Peter 5:10)

A quick testimony about our night out....

The kids had NO idea where we were going....we just asked them to dress nice and be ready at 5:45p.m. It took a while for us to get to the restuarant and they were so surprised when we finally arrived! While we waited for our meal we asked them to write down five goals that they have for themselves that they would like to accomplish in the next 2 years. We asked them to write down some qualities that they look for in a true friend and then to go a step further and to write down some qualities that they would look for in a spouse. We then shared our goals...

Many of the girls were so transparent with their hearts and it was obvious that the pain they've suffered is still so very real in their lives and really affects the way that they look at their future.

They all enjoyed our trip out!!! The food was amazing and the fellowship GREAT! They have all be dying to know when our next meeting will be and what we'll be doing! So please be praying! The girls and I will learn how to bake a common/easy dessert and well be talking about friendships and how good/bad friendships affect our attitudes, our studies and our behavior in general. We will have five special women joining us who have grown up at CB and now serve on staff. Thank you in advance for your prayers!!!

Gratefulness.....

Stefan and I have chosen this picture to express our gratefulness to you this week! The past months have been so challenging but as we said good-bye to September we realized how truly blessed we are and how grateful to the Lord we are for his constant presence, provision and protection!

About a week ago the lights went out at 10:00a.m. and did not come back on until noon the next day. Not a big deal right? Right! It was an adventure to say the least, clothes could not be dried for school the next day, toilets could not be flushed and darkness covered our mountainside....that was until Tony hooked up the generator for the houses and we all carried water up to our bathrooms so that they could function....it was actually kind of fun and most of all a great moment to recognize how truly blessed we are here! Much of society outside our walls has to wash clothes in the pila, bath in the pila, many have no electricity or running water in their homes....we here at Casa Bernabe have been so blessed by the provision of the Almighty!

And we the Steere Family have been so blessed to have all of our needs met each month!!!! THANK YOU!!!! We continue to trust the Lord in this area and are just so grateful for each of you and your willingness to be a part of this vital ministry in Guatemala.

Til next time...

Lessons on Suffering....

2009-09-21T17:17:00.000-07:00

"Permit the children to come to Me, do not hinder
them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as
these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the
kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all."
Mark 10:14–15 (NAS)

"Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

As each morning dawns we have the incredible responsiblity of providing holistic care to the 150 children here at Casa Bernabe. As the months have passed, the responsibility and reality of it becomes ever heavier. The more I observe the children that surround us the more I see the sadness in their eyes, the suffering in the most profound places and the yearning for peace. For weeks now each day has been such an intense battle. The temptation has been to ask..."Did I make the right choice, did I hear the voice of Jesus really asking me to come to this place." "Am I capable of doing the work that is set before me daily?"

I read this statement last night:"As a culture we are allergic to suffering...."

And as I read it I was pierced at my core. Much of my questioning has come at the hand of suffering. There is great suffering on this mountain side. While we are so grateful for the provision of houses, beautiful houses at that, for food, for safety on our campus, the reality is that many of our children, while they have been brought out of such severe darkness, they are still captive to their past experiences.

We covet your prayers....

Please pray for our children, that they will be drawn to the cross through the Kindness of King Jesus who rescued them out of darkness.
Please pray for the grief process in each one of their lives. Pray that God will mercifully begin to heal the broken places and that freedom will abound instead of captivity.
Please pray for rest, strength, passion and creativity for our staff as they care for each child.

Stefan and I are doing well as a family! We've been here for 3 full months now....so we spent the day in immigration attempting to get new visas. It was a crazy process but in the end my new visa is in process and Stefan is a duel citizen and can now travel on his Guatemalan passport with no hassell! Thank you Jesus!

We started the homeschooling process about 10 days ago. It's been rough but Stefan is adjusting well and is so determined to finish his work daily! He's memorized Hebrews 11:7-10.....it's so exciting to watch him grow and explore his faith. Stefan's made good friends in Casa Lamar (the 3-6 year old's house). They play daily and have so much fun together! He's even teaching some of them baseball....

Over the last few months I've been on a crazy learning journey! I've discovered that my spanish is horrible so that has been a work in progress. In addition I've been busy learning about processes that we use here at CB in the social work area. Learning lingo, reading up on the reasons that our kids are here as well as organizing our office. Thanks to FUMC - Niceville, FL we now have a nice lateral filing cabinet! Our office was painted and we are enjoying that! (Thanks Brian LaDue!)

God has also opened doors for me to help out in the area of Public Relations. I am now responsible for sending a monthly thank you letter/email to our local donors and once a month I help to compile inforamtion that we use for a newsletter here within Guatemala. This is an area that I find to be so difficult in Spanish...please pray for a supernatural experience in this area. If I could write fluently that would be so fantastic!

As I get to know each child my heart breaks more and more! Thank you for joining us on this journey! We are in the process of writting a very thorough newsletter....so be looking for that soon! Thanks for praying.....for standing with us believing for healing in the lives of our children and for supporting us financially so that we can be here doing what we do!!!!

2009-08-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update....

We are so blessed to be serving an ALMIGHTY God here in Guatemala!!! So blessed to love on children every day and to search for solutions, creative solutions to the challenges that life presents....

July passed by us so quickly....It seems it was only 24 hours long! We were so blessed to have AWESOME teams here during JULY, working, blessing and sharing JESUS in every action....each hug, each encouraging word, each prayer lifted!

Stefan and I continue to adapt to our new home.....We are definately past the "honeymoon" and into reality! Stefan has missed his family in such a profound way in these days! He's had the flu twice and now has an upper respitory thing going on but each day we determine together to put one foot in front of the other knowing that God has brought us this far....

Stefan spends the morning playing with the toddlers....it's so fun to watch him love on them....pushing them on the swings, huging them.....wiping their tears....being a true friend....BEAUTIFUL! We are studying Individuality this month...."Discovering who you are meant to be so YOU can make a difference." Each day brings new opportunity to put our daily devos to work.....(Thanks PAULANN for the tools to keep developing Character in my little one!)

I have been working on projects....LOOKING forward to completing some this week. Newsletters, July thank you letters, weekly occupancy reports (God truly has a since of humor! I ran from this exact project in Texas....THANKS ASU for the skills to do this!) and all kinds of other little projects.....Definately keep busy 10 hours a day!

Prayer requests:

PROTECTION: Please pray for our protection as we leave the safe walls of CB and drive in and out of the city.
WISDOM: The Bible says that he who asks for it will receive it....WE NEED IT and WE ARE ASKING! Each day brings so many challenges and we need wisdom....
DISCERNMENT: Please pray that we will respond well to each situation and that we will be able to discern what lies in the hearts of each of our precious children and therefore guide them through this life more effectively.
PRODUCTIVITY: I have so many projects started on my desk. Please pray that I can complete these projects WELL and be able to more to the next step.

THANK YOU! We are so blessed to be here....continuing the FIGHT - Tonilynn and Stefan

FINALLY a blog entry...

2009-07-12T16:53:00.000-07:00

Our time here is flying by! Each day bringing new challenges, adventures and opportunities to share Christ with those we serve.

Since arriving in Guatemala Stefan and I have moved into our new home, Stefan's been busy re-learning Spanish as have I (!), and we've been exploring our new responsibilities and of course enjoying Casa Beranbe!

This is a pic of our little kitchen area in our room. While our new home is small - - it's PERFECT for us! We feel so blessed to have everything we need! A place to sleep, eat....a wonderful escape! Through the PaulAnn team that came down last week we received much needed lamps and more curtains to cover our large windows.....THANKS PAULANN!!!!! (Bill and Celeste!)

Stefan's Adventures....

Our first week here, Casa Bernabe was so good to give us time to get settled and get re-aquainted. We got here just in time to go with ALL the kids to a local water park - about an hour away! CRAZY times!!! You've never been to a water park until you've been with 170 kiddos! Then we visited Escalas....it's a small commercial area that has a zip-line, petting zoo, slides, tree houses, etc. It was SOOO much fun!

Stefan, his buddy Mario and I went on the Zip-line....such a physical experience that mirrored the steps of FAITH we've just taken as a family! Stefan and I were both so nervous....as I stepped off into nothing, I could feel the strong ropes, holding me up.....As Stefan stepped off he felt the same, nervous....very nervous but as we both arrived at the first platform we agreed that it was WAY fun and we'd continue to the end of the course.

As we've stepped off the edge so to speak we both agree that we were nervous about this move but we've felt the strong arm of our wonderful LORD sustaining us the whole way!

Some updates about our areas of ministry!

I now serve in the Social work office at Casa Bernabe. I'm getting to know the office, office procedures and vocabulary! Last week I sent out my first Donor appreication letter for the ministry and I'll be serving alongside Verbo's 20-30 group as we work together on a quarterly newsletter~ Should be exciting!

I'm getting to know house-parents as well as children. My goal is to know each child by name in the next month.....

Our precious little Juanito who is 4 had two heart operations this week. Please continue to pray for his healing and restoration! It was so fun chatting with him! He's such a cute little guy.... We are so grateful for the surgeons who came to Guatemala.....the donors who have provided for the surgeries and most of all for GOD's faithfulness.....

Prayer Requests:

1. Continued adaptation....for Stefan and I.

2. For a vehicle just for Social Work....

3. For more vehicles for Casa Bernabe as we are down to 1 van and 1 truck.....

4. For continued wisdom and discernment as our family serves the children/staff of Casa Bernabe.

THANK YOU for praying for us, supporting us and journeying with us!

Hearts of service....

2009-07-03T15:18:00.000-07:00

Each week the women who serve the children of Casa Bernabe take a moment to share in worship, prayer and the breaking of God's word. As I sat in the corner watching these precious women, I was astounded and amazed by their strength, their hearts of service and their love for oneanother. As a part of this weeks moment together we had the opportunity to wash eachother's feet. As we washed we prayed over eachother, wept over eachother and we left that place changed. Refreshed, renewed and recharged to serve the children with passion, with hope and with energy!

We have several amazing teams here right now....and they too have been so amazing! Our family enjoyed a moment of worship last night with one of the teams and I was greatly impacted by the lyrics of one of the songs that they sang...Take me in...I am going to write the lyrics below and pray that as they challenged my heart that they will both encourage you in your times of personal worship and challege you as you serve those in your community.

Take me past the outer courts
and through the Holy Place
Past the brazen alar
Lord I wanna see your face
Pass me by the crowds of people
And the Priests who sing their praise
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness
But it's only found in one place

take me into the Holy of Holies
Take me in by the blood of the Lamb
Take me into the Holy of Holies
Take the coal, cleanse my lips, here I am. (Kutless - StrongTower)

When our children look to us may they see imperfect servants of a Holy God in constanst pursuit of purity, holiness and more of Him! More of His presence!!!

Please continue praying for us! We are glad to be here!!!

True Prosperity by James Robison

2009-06-18T06:41:00.001-07:00

"Discernment is not a matter of simply telling the difference between right and wrong; rather, it is telling the difference between right and almost right" Charles H. Spurgeon

During my time at ASU books would randomly appear on my desk...usually GREAT books....

Just before my departure...a new set of books appeared and among them was the book True Prosperity by James Robison. As I watched Stefan swim yesterday I picked it up and began to read...I was not ready for what the pages of this book contained!

Over the past several months as we've prepared to leave for Guatemala I have struggled through what it means to "give up what I cannot keep to gain what I cannot lose." Let me explain....
For the past four years I have made a home for my family....which of course is not limited to material things but of course includes them. I wanted our home to be comforting, safe and a refuge really from the business of life. And as I began preparing our family to move to Guatemala I struggled to give up sentimental things - - - like picture frames, special projects that Stefan made and even some items of furniture. I wondered if I was sinning by not wanting to get rid of "stuff" and rationalized that I had had a HUGE garage sale and several free bazars at my home giving things to friends and students. Still on the night before we were to leave there was so much "stuff" left. Had I been disobedient?

As I walked to the dumpster for the millionth time, I felt the Lord whisper to my heart:
"Toni do you not think that ALL of me is better than all this stuff?"

The Apostle Paul addresses this very issue in II Corinthians 7:8-9
"See that you also excel in this grace of giving. I am not commanding you, but I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich."

My answer: Yes....YES Lord I know that ALL of you is better...only help me to obey.

As I read through True Prosperity God is confirming the battle/struggle that is raging inside me and I am beginning to see that even through I feel it's important to craft a home for my son....to make a place for him to feel secure, comfortable and safe from this world, it is even more important to seize opportunities to invest in Stefan's little heart....because while the picture frames will not accompany us on our journey into eternity - - Stefan's little heart/soul will.

I am humbled today! And grateful for the Father's patience as He teaches me the way that I should walk!

(If you have a chance....pick up True Prosperity by James Robison! The Lord has really used it in my life!)

Two weeks from tomorrow - - June 22, 2009

2009-06-07T15:24:00.000-07:00

It seems impossible that time has moved this fast....just two weeks until we leave for Casa Bernabe! Six months has passed so quickly....but they've left us so impacted! God has done such wonderful things and we (I) am just so humbled!

Last week we finished up our season at Angelo State University....it was tough letting go, stepping to the side and accepting the end! That may sound a bit weird but I think it's just part of the journey toward surrender. We cleaned out our apartment, said our good byes, packed the car and headed for Oklahoma last Sunday! We arrived to a surprise Birthday celebration at my parents house for Estefan....he turned 8 on May 21st! (that also seems so crazy!!!!) Stefan LOVES popcorn and so his grammy and aunties make him a popcorn cake - - - it was the coolest thing! They carved popcorn kernals out of yellow and white marshmellows and glued them on cupcakes using frosting - AMAZING!
Stefan was stunned! Then his aunties blessed him with new clothes for Guatemala and a new portable dvd player - SUCH A BLESSING! He will be able to watch his school videos on this since we don't have a TV. God has just so provided for us each step of the way and as I look back I am just overwhelmed by the details, the care and the ways that He's provided!

As I was packing up our house I found an old "To Do List" on my desk. On it I had written...three supporting churches???? I am amazed....stunned...to share that God has provided six!!!!
PaulAnn Baptist Church
First Baptist Church, Supulpa
Iglesia Vision de Fe
Snow Hill Baptist Church
Houston's First Baptist Church
Primera Iglesia Bautista el Calvario

These churches have committed to pray for us, to encourage us and to support us financially! It's been so amazing to watch this all come together! We are so excited about speaking in 3 services on Sunday @ Supulpa and would be so blessed to see some of you there!

Beyond these churches we have received or have committments financially for our entire budget!!!! This is a HUGE praise and we are so grateful for all those who have committed to give, have already given and who will give so that our family can focus on ministry at Casa Bernabe. This is an amazing gift! To not have to worry about finances is HUGE! THANK YOU!!!

We are working this week on getting things tied up - - - so many details...

Meanwhile we have some HUGE prayer requests for the ministry itself....

Pedro Hernandez - Pedro has been ill for a while now and recently has spent a great deal of time in the hospital. His liver is diseased and he has a very tough infection raging through his body. Please pray for his health - For God to touch Pedro's body in a way that only the Great Physician can. Please pray for his wife - Donie- that God would strengthen her during this time and that she would feel God's sweet peace overwhelm her. Please pray for their children -
Flory Herrera - For strength and wisdom as she makes decisions daily for all the kiddos at CB.
This year marks the 25th Anniversary of the ministry and we are so excited about opportunities to give God glory and celebrate all that He has done in the ministry throughout these years. Please pray that God will continue to use us and empty us for His namesake in Guatemala.

Okay...this has been a long update....THANK YOU again for your support, love and for your prayers as we journey on!

2009-06-07T13:59:00.001-07:00

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:33)But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.....Tonight as I sit, beginning this blog and I wonder what exactly it is that the Lord would have me to post here. And these words come to mind...We are the Steere Family. We currently live in San Angelo, Texas and are excitedly looking to the future feeling God leading our family to relocate to Guatemala City, Guatemala.Over 10 years ago God introduced me to Guatemala through some dear friends, Bill and Barb Lowe. I remember it so clearly. I had never seen such passion or brokeness. Bill and Barb shared hundreds of photos and they shared a passion for relationship building in missions. As I left their home I remember feeling different, taking with me a bit of their brokeness...a renewed passion for the Kingdom of God.When I left their home that August I had no idea that God was preparing my heart for a December trip to Guatemala. I had no idea the mountains He would move to make the trip possible nor the mountains that would be moved over the next ten years in the lives of dozens of children.In January 2000 God took me to Guatemala for the first time. It was amazing to say the least. I felt so inadequate....there were language barriers, cultural barriers....and there was laughter, there were tears and there were relationships built. Relationships that continue to grow and bear fruit."You yourselves are our letter of recommendation, written on our hearts, to be known and read by all. And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written no with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." (II Cor. 3:2)For years God sent beautiful people to minister and speak into my life...the Allens, the Lowes, the Littletons, the Richey's. Their words of life took root in my heart and as I went to Guatemala I felt as though I'd been created to serve there, prepared to serve there and it was now my turn to pour into others...And so the relationship with Casa Bernabe, a small orphanage in Guatemala began.I returned home to complete a bachelor's at Southwest Baptist University in Bolivar, Missouri. During that year the Lord invited me to serve on another short term trip to Casa Bernabe and it was during that time that He confirmed His desires for me to join Him there for two years after graduation. It was also then that God invited our family, my parents to adopt my beautiful sister Michelle and that God invited me to lead another team from SBU down on another short-term trip. It was a busy year.....A busy year that led to two more busy years. In March of 2001 I joined the staff at Casa Beranbe as a full-time missionary. I served that first year as a pre-kinder/kindergarten teacher in the Christian school at the orphanage as well as working and living as a helper in Casa Samuel.Casa Samuel was the home that served the "littlest." We had up to 32 little ones at a time....there was truly never a dull moment!On June 18, 2001 life took a turn. At that time we did not have babies at our location. The youngest children we served were three years old. But that day everything changed. A social worker arrived late in the evening with a little bundle of blue. A 4.0lb baby boy nestled inside....we were asked to please take him. So we did and somehow that precious little one ended up in my arms. Life changed in a moment....There is so much to his story....so much that God did....During those two years God imparted the gift of speaking Spanish, He allowed for walls to be broken down in the lives of our children and for the seed of the Gospel to be planted.My desperate cry as I began the journey at Casa Bernabe and as I continue the journey is that God will allow for us to embody the Gospel and that we will be able to communicate in word and deed a Hope that does not disappoint. A hope that we can only find in Jesus.In addition to God blessing the ministry and our lives at CB God also began to move in the area of adpotions.He moved mountains, uprooted mulberry trees and softened the hearts of men allowing for me to become Estefan Antonio's (the little bundle of blue that I mentioned earlier) forever mama. Our adoption was final on December 31, 2004. We have so enjoyed the past four years....growing as a family, experiencing "firsts" and growing in the Lord.Stefan is now 7 years old. It's been fun to be a part of ministry together, to watch his little heart grow for the nations....specifically Guatemala. It's been humbling to watch his faith lived out in action.Our relationship with Casa Bernabe has continued to grow through the years and for us they've become our family, Guatemala our home.So as the Lord invites we faithfully accept His invitations to join Him there, serving the children of Guatemala through the ministry of Casa Bernabe.Our hope for this blog is that you will join us on our journey. That you will partner with us in prayer over the lives of these children, over the lives of the ministry that God empowers and entrusts the lives of these children to and that you will pray for us as we step out of our comfort zone and into all that He has in store.